London Trocadero

Its so crowded and loud with the video games inside, I always hesitate to go in. But the Whittard has an enticing range of teas, and my movie addiction means that the Cineworld inside has seen me become a frequent patron. Well if you can't go to the theater all the time, enjoy entertainment for the masses. And plebeians of the world unite at the Trocadero, whether for shopping, picking out some awful souvenirs, or playing video games.

However, if you decide to watch a movie on a quiet afternoon, watch out for thieves. Seriously. A friend left a bag between her feet, and someone took out her wallet, filched half a months rent, and put it back into her bag with the cards, zipped it and left it there again. Apparently it wasn't the first time. Why can't they be a bit proactive with these CCTV cameras our taxes end up paying for? Well there is a Trocadero bandit, call in the sheriff. Time to institute public hangings...

The Trocadero is a family centre in Piccadilly. If you have kids or are a big kid yourself this is a fun way to spend an afternoon or evening. There is pool, bowling, and a video arcade.

I have played pool at the Trocadero several times and the pool area isn't bad. Because the area is so public I do get a bit nervous about putting my bag down. I know thieves operate in the area (well that's what the sign says) so I find myself constantly keeping one eye on my belongings. If the space is crowded you do need to watch how you handle your pool stick or you'll end up impaling someone in the behind.

My favourite part of the Trocadero is the video games. I have taken my nephew and he loved that there was so much variety. We played sports games, driving games and even a few with monsters. We both had a blast. The best game is Aliens! It's a shooting game where you and a partner have to kill the Aliens, yes the ones from the movie. To me it's a grown up game and I only play it with other grown up, I like ones who are a good shot because it helps keep me alive.

There is also bowling, I have not done that, whenever we have tried to bowl the wait has been two hours or more. Needless to say, the bowling is very popular. If the pool, bowling or arcades don't do it for, there is a movie theatre which is pretty nice and not as expensive as some of the other theatres in that area.

I recommend the Trocadero for a date or just a fun time out. If you are babysitting and the kids are over 6, it's the perfect place to wear them out!

If you find yourself in the area, by all means you have to come in and stroll through this place. More to say that you came and saw than anything else -
Small shops, a stripped down arcade and a cinema - so I will submit that catching a flick or playing arcade games while in London is a total and absolute waste of time, this place is simply a landmark to be seen, briefly and quickly forgotten.

Holy terrifying... it's like I slipped and fell into David Bowie's bulging early 1990s nightmarish wonderland of mind-horror.

Let's step back - the Trocadero is a cavernous underground maze of cheap visual stimulation, florescent candy that has never seen the light of day, cacophonous arcade games, internet cafés filled with people connected to gaming gangs, an escalator plan most certainly designed by MC Escher, grimy fast food windows, and I may even have seen a SegaWorld sign in there, but I did my best to avert my eyes in case my overstimulated senses accidentally tripped-out into one of those 3-D seeing eye puzzles and the Statue of Liberty all of a sudden rumbled to life in my face.

Two more rather unhelpful thoughts:
1. This must be what the writers of Soylent Green had in mind when they penned 'the future."
2. My imagination feels violated at the thought that there is a swimming pool inside this complex.

Please, for the sake of all things natural, avoid, avoid, avoid. Unless you're... well, nevermind.

The Trocadero is turning into a ghost town and a bit of an eyesore. That's a real shame as it's located right in the heart of the tourist heartland of the West End.

The upper floors are completely deserted now that the arcade/dodgems/10 pin bowling has shut down. There are a myriad of little shops and booths scattered throughout the rest of the building - an eclectic mix of chains like Baskin Robbins to a mechanical bull to a 3D laser photo etching stall.

There are some fun things still to do here - Cineworld, laser tag, LAN gaming centre but the centre lacks an overarching theme or cohesiveness

One new discovery though is the basement walkway to the neighbouring shopping centre has been turned into a streetdance hangout. A small store sells drinks and clothing but there are groups of dancers practising and sharing moves to the accompaniment of appropriate music. It's nice to see the dancers helping each other out. There are also occasional competitions and there are some amazing dancers to watch

You need the toilet

You need a token

You need £1 for a token

So, you need to pay £1 to pee

------- ------- ------ ------ ------- ---
Bring a colostomy bag

...or better yet - just piss your pants - it'll give you an excuse to get out of this neo-migraine of mezzanines.

The Trocadero used to have a ride in the middle. You'd sit in a seat, with a Chinese tourist to the right of you, and a screaming middle aged woman to the left. And you'd swiftly be taken upwards - all the way to the top of the Trocadero. This was a far quicker mode of transport than the confusing escalators. Unfortunately, within seconds, you would shoot back down to the ground floor at lightning speed (please bare in mind I cannot scientifcally guarantee it was scientific speed. Not that it matters, the ride is gone).

It was a great ride. It's gone. So I don't really know why I'm talking about it. Suffice to say they replaced it with a trampoline for children. I'm not really sure of the logic of it.

The Trocadero is pretty cool - but isn't anywhere near what it was. It used to have like three levels packed full of gaming machines. Then they closed off the top level and much of the lower one. What used to be a full day's worth of running around spending money has now become do-able in about thirty minutes. It's a shame.

This has the potential to be heaven for the young; from kids to teens to people in their mid-twenties. But it's not anymore. Rather than be the Manchester United of entertainment, it's more like the Middlesbrough FC. It's kind of mid-table okay-ish. There's a cinema, there's a place to buy cookies, there's air-hockey. You'll get by. You can even go bowling. In fact, ignore what I say and you might just love it. But for those who have an inkling as to how it used to be, they'll realise that its not much of anything anymore.

This place is, rather sadly, an almost completely horrible dump. Comprising hideously overpriced toilets (£1! for piss-strewn floors, lukewarm water, non-existent soap), a depressingly dated HMV, one of those loud-speaker desperate-sales-pitch fronted "designer perfume" shops, an abundance of London-themed and football-strip knock-off stalls, a bizarrely busy headache-inducing Starbucks, and some very, very ancient and weathered looking arcades. Spending more than 20 minutes here will have you contemplating suicide. The one saving grace is the Cineworld, which though completely faceless, corporate and bleak feeling in "brand" and staff approachability, does show some good films now and again.

Trocadero's time went many, many years ago. The place needs to be stripped, gutted and completely re-designed. The space itself has huge potential. Someone just needs to realise it.

Summary based on many "drive bys":
--typical junky, city center venue reminiscent of Hong Kong's Cungking Mansions, without the helpful shops
--oh, that's enough. It's probably not even worth 2 stars, but I'm feeling generous.

Over a YEAR ago I saw and understood the potential charm this place was going for...but recently, they've actually removed and shut down most of its shops/stands. We attempted visiting the cinema, but it didn't look too inviting.

Can't say that I agreed with the TYPE of stands they HAD open, a ton of black market/fake, most likely illegal replicated type of product such as purses, jewelry, etc.... but the IDEA of having a variety of stands open for people to easily browse through was nice. Too bad they didn't offer many homemade, legal product, because THAT would've been nice. Like Portabello Market or something....should open one here! :)

Before the stands and other stores were shut down, it already looked like an abandoned indoor theme park. There was this escaltor that was hanging on by strands of metal leading up to a dark hole to the top floor....darker than the old arcade Tron lived in. -__- I mean, that part didn't even bother me, it was kinda neat. BUT now that everything is pretty much shut besides a couple treat stands, few touristy shops, oh and ... AAAAAND....the NEW DEAD SKIN EATING FISH tanks (which I heard is GENERALLY unsanitary!!!) I actually saw a couple of customers at this stand!!!! You just have to see it for yourself...the tanks, the shut down "mall," all of the nothing that is left.

So sad to see this place crumble.....how bout opening up these shops and hiring people!!!

Oh, and what was even more weird was that their prices were waaay too high for what was on offer. :-(